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So yeah, this song isn’t fun. Not fun at all.

Okay, I keed, I keed.

This song in particular is about a man being compared to his “perfect” neighbor (although I have to say, I think a man like Endicott would drive many women insane over time), and why he isn’t like the titular character. Additionally, the singer is a bit of a rake himself, a bit of a gigolo and gold digger, pretty much what you expect from a Kid Creole song. The Coconuts chime in nicely with their mocking chorus “why can’t you be like Endicott?“, and the song has a nice, funky bassline and a bit of calypso as well.

Here’s a link to the video

And of course, the lyrics:

Endicott’s up by 5 o’clock
Endicott’s givin’ it all he got
Endicott’s job is six to nine but
Endicott’s home by nine O five
Endicott helps to cook the steak
Endicott helps to wash the plates
Endicott puts the kids to bed
Endicott reads a book to them

Our love will be…

Ah, the irrepressible Bootsy Collins. Where to begin?

As a child, I did not like that “race music”. I found it (and still find the vast majority of it) boring, repetitive, close-minded, and I just didn’t like the way it sounded. Then I heard Bootsy…

Bootsy was fun. Bootsy was silly. Bootsy was really, really cool. And Bootsy can definitely play some bass. But don’t just take my word for it. From Rolling Stone:

Bootsy’s Rubber Band has about as much intellectual content as a Saturday morning cartoon show, which really doesn’t separate it from most other funk and grind bands (or power-rock groups). What makes Bootsy stand out is a low-grade, comic-book sense of humor that producer George Clinton is able to fuse with some of the most lyrical post-James Brown funk this side of Parliament/Funkadelic. In fact, it’s impossible to mention Bootsy Collins without bringing up Parliament/Funkadelic, the band Bootsy has helped shape since his departure from James Brown.

If that isn’t a good reason to like a performer, I don’t know what is.

Mind you, it wouldn’t matter if the music weren’t any good. Thankfully such is not the case. What’s a Telephone Bill? is actually sort of a nice romantic sentiment–until you realize how incredibly silly and funny the song is. Bootsy’s spoken word delivery is way over the top, and his asides are reminiscent of Popeye’s from the 1930’s black and white cartoons. Plus, even if you take Bootsy out of the equation, it’s still a damned good song. In fact, it would quickly end up on the “music to get laid to” mix CD.

Here’s a link to a tribute video

And of course, the lyrics:

Hello baby
Yes, it’s your friendly phone fanatic again
Oh yeah I’m loaded
With verbal rap ability, baby
You know you inspire me to poetry
So listen while I recite naughty nothings
That’ll wet your eardrums

Maybe I’ll manicure your toenails
And uh, make sweet love to you baby!
Rub my body with yours
Wait a minute operator, I’m not talking to you!

This song screamed “one-hit-wonder” from the first time I heard it. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad song–I wouldnt’ be writing about it if I felt it was–but it does have that feel and appeal. I love the strange percussion–I believe that one of the instruments the drummer is playing is a frying pan–and the oddness of Stanard Ridgway’s vocals. Also, it’s a great sing-along song as well.

From Wikipedia:

Wall of Voodoo vocalist Stan Ridgway and guitarist Marc Moreland traced the inspiration for the song to listening to high-wattage unregulated AM border-blaster Mexican radio stations (among them XERF, XEG, and XERB) which, starting circa the 1930s, were received practically around the globe (”I turn the switch and check the number / I leave it on when in bed I slumber”). Some of the stations boasted a million watts, which was 20 times higher than allowed in the US.

Sitting just south of the Rio Grande (”I feel a hot wind on my shoulder / I dial it in from south of the border”), these stations avoided American broadcast and trade regulations, and became the medium of favor for countless quacks spouting political rants (”I dial it in and tune the station / They talk about the U.S. inflation”), selling homemade pharmaceuticals pre-FDA (”… I buy the product and never use it”), self-published manifestos, and may have even been the starting point for Televangelism as we know it. Wolfman Jack started his career in that market, spinning a schizophrenic mix of genres.

Here’s a link to the video

And of course, the lyrics:

I feel a hot wind on my shoulder
And the touch of a world that is older
I turn the switch and check the number
I leave it on when in bed I slumber
I hear the rhythms of the music
I buy the product and never use it
I hear the talking of the DJ
Can’t understand, just what does he say?

Radio, radio, radio, radio, radio, radio, radio…
(What does he say?)

Delia’s Gone is in many ways a typical Johnny Cash song, full of black humor and regret. In the hands of another singer, this song could be absolutely brutally painful, or woefully plastic. In Cash’s capable hands, it’s a masterpiece.

Johnny Cash brings a grim tongue in cheek quality to this song, in many ways a counterpoint to Robert Johnson’s 32-20 Blues. However, he manages to avoid the manic insanity of Johnson’s tune, with a little more regret and a little more anger. In many ways, he makes this song about killing someone more or less palatable.

Here’s a link to the video

And of course, the lyrics:

Delia, oh, Delia Delia all my life
If I hadn’t have shot poor
Delia I’d have had her for my wife
Delia’s gone, one more round Delia’s gone

So if you woman’s devilish
You can let her run
Or you can bring her down and do her
Like Delia got done
Delia’s gone, one more round Delia’s gone

(You Dyed Your Hair) Chartreuse isn’t the best known Louis Jordan song, nor would I even rank it as one of his best. That being said, it’s still a lot better than so many other songs out there.

The subject matter is a little dated–after all, dyeing one’s hair Chartreuse these days would be somewhat tame–but it’s still got a nice, gentle humor that’s quite enjoyable. Also there’s a bit of wistfulness at innocence lost as well, as the narrator casts a nostalgic eye on the young lady in question, back to the days when her hair was black and she loved ginger-ale.

You can listen to the song below:

And of course, the lyrics:

You’re a freckled gal,
You’re a pug-nosed cutey, sweet as Charlotte Russe
You’ve got big blue eyes,
So I ask you why have you dyed your hair chartreuse?

Chartreuse (chartreuse)
Chartreuse (chartreuse)
Though you think it’s mighty cute
Just wait ’til I write and tell your ma
That you dyed your hair chartreuse
Chartreuse (chartreuse)
Chartreuse (chartreuse)
Though you think it’s mighty cute
But just wait ’til I write and tell your ma
You didn’t like black, you didn’t like red
You hated blondes, well, it’s no use
You got mad and dyed your hair…
Chartreuse

Fun. Fun with a capital ‘F’. Fun. That’s Punk Rock Girl for you.

A satirical love song about the relationship of two ‘anarchists’, this song is just plain fun. It’s a great song to sing badly, great fun for karaoke (I suppose for some people that’s one and the same), great fun to dance to, great fun to listen to.

Did I mention that it’s fun?

Here’s a link to the video

And of course, the lyrics:

One Saturday I took a walk to Zipperhead
I met a girl there and she almost knocked me dead

Punk rock girl
You look so wild
Punk rock girl
Let’s have a child
We’ll name her Minnie Pearl
Just you and me
Eat fudge banana swirl
Just you and me
We’ll travel round the world
Just you and me
Punk rock girl

Ah yes, this song.

Okay, this is just plain fun, primarily because of the delivery of the spoken word lyrics. The singer’s attitude comes out in a major way, and it’s just plain fun. The song is pretty funny too. Just one of those fun eighties throw-away songs, but I think it’s still fun to listen to now.

Here’s a link to the video

And of course, the lyrics:

Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore….
I was walking up Broadway you know
and there’s this incredible looking Swedish girl having a
Cappuccino across the street from Lincoln Center, I started
talking to her you know - She said her name was Lola,
Her English wasn’t too good you know - but we wound up spending
about 5 hours together just hanging out you know.
So We go back to my place - we get high - we get really into each other man.
It was love about to happen…I’m serious.
And then all of a sudden she gets up and she says, she says “Hey, I really gotta leave”
Damn
A E I O U Sometimes Y
There are 178 parent languages on our planet with over 1000 dialects…
It’s amazing we communicate at all.
Languages and dialects - with this one thing in common:
A E I O U Sometimes Y
Ahhh!
A E I O U A E I O U A E I O U A E I O U
Sometimes Y!!
But you know I was really flipped out you know and she asked me
if I’m angry or something I said of course I’m angry man this
isn’t high school or anything you know so I’m feeling really
cavalier and I say ah…call me if you want to…
huh, yeah…call me if you want to
So she rang me up and she says, “Hey! Do you wanna go out?”
Huh, Do I wanna go out
A E I O U Sometimes Y
A E I O U Sometimes Y
Operator! Operator! What’s happening operator?!
Mommy? Mommy Mommy!! Where are you
Mommy? I can’t see you
I can’t see you Mommy!
All artists, potentially, are the victims of their desire to be unique
Just observe it
Don’t fight it
Work it. Work it. Work it. Work it. Work it.
Yeah she took me home man she threw me all
around the room man
I mean this chick was really hot she was nice
to me you know
She let me keep on my cowboy boots and everything…she was
Allright… oh! oh! yeah! oh! oh! oh! oh! ohhhhhh!!!
I dare you to play this record
A E I O U Sometimes Y
A E I O U Sometimes Y
Anyway so she took me home and she
splattered my brains
Yeah there I am there I am what happened what happened
Where was I oh here I am
I told her I wouldn’t sleep with her friends - she
Doesn’t sleep with my friends Anything else you do
You know…Don’t you tell me
Lola

Step Right Up is one of those great, funny songs that anyone can instantly identify with. We’ve all been pitched to our entire lives, and this song is particularly evocative of that fact. Waits’ gritty voice juxtaposed against the jazzy bass and saxaphone really bring it all off. A great song.

Here’s a link to a tribute video

And of course, the lyrics:

Step right up, step right up, step right up,
Everyone’s a winner, bargains galore
That’s right, you too can be the proud owner
Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
One-tenth of a dollar, one-tenth of a dollar, we got service after sales
You need perfume? we got perfume, how ’bout an engagement ring?
Something for the little lady, something for the little lady,
Something for the little lady, hmm
Three for a dollar
We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
And a smoke-damaged furniture, you can drive it away today
Act now, act now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you
They come in all colors, one size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no spills, you’re tired of kitchen drudgery
Everything must go, going out of business, going out of business
Going out of business sale
Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man
Don’t settle for less
How do we do it? how do we do it? volume, volume, turn up the volume
Now you’ve heard it advertised, don’t hesitate
Don’t be caught with your drawers down,
Don’t be caught with your drawers down
You can step right up, step right up

‘Cause it forges your signature
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
Step right up
Please allow thirty days for delivery, don’t be fooled by cheap imitations
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it
Swim in it, sleep in it,
Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that’s right
And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your shorts, change your life, change your life
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife,
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator
See you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It’s a friend, and it’s a companion,
And it’s the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff,
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job
And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange,
And it gives you denture breath
And you know it’s a friend, and it’s a companion
And it gets rid of your traveler’s checks
It’s new, it’s improved, it’s old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding,
Never needs winding, never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis,
Christ, you don’t know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy,
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon
‘Cause it’s effective, it’s defective, it creates household odors,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection, it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It’s a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it
We need your business, we’re going out of business
We’ll give you the business
Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale
Receive our free brochure, free brochure
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available,
Step right up, step right up, step right up
You got it buddy: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
Step right up, you can step right up, you can step right up
C’mon step right up
(Get away from me kid, you bother me…)
Step right up, step right up, step right up, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon
Step right up, you can step right up, c’mon and step right up,
C’mon and step right up

Camel Walk is a funny song with a great guitar line, perhaps more psychobilly than rockabilly, but either works. The lyrics are really amusing, and I love the guitar lines. It’s also nice that it’s such an upbeat, fun song–a celebration of–well, various things that make men and women happy.

Here’s a link to the video

And of course, the lyrics:

Baby, Would you eat that there snack cracker
In your special outfit for me, please?
owwwWEEEEE!

Say, you don’t think there’s any way I could get that quarter
From underneath your pointy boot, do ya?
All I want is just one more oatmeal pie.
OWWWW WEEE, Little Debbie, Little Debbie
I’m a comin on home, baby, ’cause you make me wanna walk
Like a camel, OWWWW WEEE!

I Wanna Be A Flintstone is a funny song that rocks. It’s got a great rockabilly beat, it’s funny, and it’s catchy. I love the ending the best, as lead singer Bill Carter improvises some simple one liners that make things cute and amusing.

Here’s a link to the video

And of course, the lyrics:

I wander around in the twilight zone
A little baby Flintstone all on my own
I wander around in the twilight zone
A little baby Flintstone all on my own

Oh boy