Ivan Meets G.I. Joe was that rarest of animals–a song sung by drummer Topper Headon. It’s also a fun little tune about a deadly subject. I always liked it because it’s got some cute lyrics, but at the same time it’s pretty scary.
And of course, the lyrics:
So you’re on the floor, at 54
Think you can last - at Le Palace
Does your body go to the to and fro?
But tonight’s the night - or didn’t you know
That Ivan meets G.I. Joe
He tried his tricks- that Ruskie bear
The United Nations said it’s all fair
He did the radiation - the chemical plague
But he could not win - with a Cossack spin
The Vostok bomb - the Stalin strike
He tried every move - he tried to hitch hike
He drilled a hole - like a Russian star
He made every move in his repertoire
When Ivan meets G.I. Joe
Now it was G.I. Joe’s turn to blow
He turned it on - cool and slow
He tried a payphone call to the Pentagon
A radar scan - a leviathan
He wiped the Earth - clean as a plate
What does it take to make a Ruskie break?
But the crowd are bored and off they go
Over the road to watch China blow!
